Yes, they (the eggs) would have been better in a bowl and you knew that and were proven right. Yes, you want your children to obey your commands. However, it gave me the impression that your child shouldn't think for themselves for a better solution, but simply do whatever you tell them to.....I don't understand why it was such a disappointment for them to think through the situation themselves, even if it resulted in dry eggs.Did anyone else have the same thoughts?
Let me give you a little bit of additional information. First of all, I didn't voice my displeasure. My helper didn't hear any words of dissatisfaction from me. I considered and pondered the situation and came up with the thoughts I expressed in the post. Secondly, it wasn't a child who was helping me. :)
But, those things aside, there are two things to consider here. One is the real question of, "Do I want my children to think for themselves and come up with alternatives that may be a better solution than one I've presented." The answer isn't purely straight forward. Yes, I want them to think for themselves. Yes, I'm willing to let them make mistakes and learn by doing. But, when they're doing something for me and it's a direct command they need to do what I've asked. It's no different in the workplace. Some of my older children worked at a grocery store when they were teenagers. One of the requirements for retrieving carts was the worker could only bring in seven carts at a time. It was a definite matter of contention among the teen employees. They didn't see any reason for not bringing in ten or fifteen at a time. My comment to my kids about it was to do exactly what the boss said to do. If he told them to bring the carts in one at a time walking backwards that what they should do. He was the boss, he was paying them to do a job for him and until they were the boss, they had to do it his way or quit.
Nothing was stopping them from observing and thinking and coming up with ideas for how they might do it if the choice was theirs to make. But, when we are in a situation where we are under someone else's authority, unless they are commanding us to do something opposed to God, we do it their way. If we have a better idea we need to discuss it with them before going out on our own.
The second thing to consider is this, the real point that I was getting at was what we look like to God. I was imagining myself hearing His words and coming up with something that makes better sense to me. I thought about the kind of disappointment He must feel when he sees me end up with unsatisfactory results (dry eggs, or worse) because I didn't trust and obey. I thought of how arrogant and prideful I must look to think that I have a better idea than God, or think I understand His motives so can find my own solution to life's questions.
So I asked myself, "What kind of obedience does He expect from us?" When do we have "direct orders" and when are we left to figure it out and go with what seems best to us?
Our first lesson in obedience comes from Eve. (Sadly, there are many more all throughout scripture and history and our own lives. Sadly, we don't learn very well. Thankfully, God is forgiving and gives us a way out of our mess. But how well off we are to learn from others, and our own, mistakes.) Back to Eve. God had given one command, just one, "You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat[d] of it you shall surely die,” Gen. 2:16, 17.It was direct and it had a consequence.
Look at what happens in chapter 3 when the serpent questions Eve. First he misrepresents God's command by asking if God forbade them to eat of any tree in the garden. Eve is probably thrown slightly off guard as she seeks to correct his error and then she adds something of her own by replying, 'but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’ Since they weren't supposed to eat it, it would certainly be a good idea not to touch it; but, God didn't say not to touch it, just not to eat it.
This is our first problem, we add to God's commands.
The serpent now questions the validity of the command by appealing to Eve's sense of reason and justice. She uses those, plus her senses to determine what is true. Reasoning--fruit is good, knowledge is good, eating the fruit must be good. Justice--God will surely not kill me, He's a good God. Senses--she saw that it was good for food and it was a "delight to the eyes". It looked right, it seemed right, it felt right. But, it was wrong. Everything she worked out on her own (and with the encouragement of the serpent) led her away from obeying God's direct command.
Someone recently asked me how she could know if what she was considering was the leading of God or the tempting of Satan. My answer was to consider Eve. Be careful of being drawn into a decision based solely on senses, reasoning, and judgment. God wants us to use all of those things, but not to be drawn away from Him by them. If we are convincing ourselves to follow a path that has any specific opposition to God's word then we can be certain is not from God.
So, what do we gain by obeying parents or employers? First, there is an aspect of preservation in following the lead of someone who knows more than we do. The grocery store owner had experience with damaged carts and damaged vehicles and damaged store walls. By experience, he knew the limit that the average employee could safely handle and made it a rule for all employees. By experience, I knew the best way to serve the eggs. An employee or helper who chooses to try it their own way is essentially acting in arrogance by thinking they know more even with a lack of experience.
Second, we learn to act out one of the two great commandments given to us by Jesus Christ. We learn to "love our neighbor as ourself" (this is especially relevant when we really do >know more or better than the one we must obey). How is that obedience to authority (on earth) teaches us to love others? Loving others is an act of humility. Jesus tells us to think more highly of others than we do ourselves, to give preference to others, to "honor all men". We don't love, prefer, or honor unless we are humble. Obedience helps us to practice humility and not always go to ourselves to work everything out, placing our abilities and thoughts above all others. Practicing obedience to authorities helps to mold our heart into one of humility before God so that we are in a better frame of heart and mind to fully trust in Him.
I know there are exceptions, there are times that we really do see what's best. But, how do we go about communicating that or following through with it? When it comes to something that we've been directly told to do, we need to communicate our thoughts to the person in charge if we want to do it differently. Imagine the disorder that would result from employees choosing their own directions. Or players choosing to ignore the directions of their coach. Chaos would rein.
When it comes to God...I hope we understand fully that God has infinitely more wisdom than we do and are not quick to try to work out a better solution to His commands and directions. Not only does He have more insight and wisdom but He tells us flat out that His ways are not our ways.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8,9
Remember Eve. God was not kidding, there were, and are, consequences.
I did not have the same response.
ReplyDeleteI teach my children that obedience is to do as you were told, when you were told, and with a good attitude.
I still try to encourage their ideas. I have explained that they can express "their ways" or ideas with me beforehand and I may agree and change my mind that their way is better but that if they choose to do their way instead of my way without discussing it they are being disobedient and disrespectful.
Nicole.
I thought simar thoughts as Nicole. Obviously, my kids are much too young to be voicing any opinion. They (or more Sadie) need to do what I say and exactly how I said to do it, period.
ReplyDeleteBut as they get older, I do want them to feel free to respectfully voice their opinion on a way to do something that differs from how I said to do it...but also to understand that if I still want it done my way, they obey with a good attitude.
But then it is different in following God as His way is always going to be best and we have absolutely no place in thinking we know better.
There's my 2 cents worth :)
You two are both thinking about very small children. Now think about how you felt about being told what to do when you were...say, in high school. All of my 'helpers' (who could actually take care of the eggs) are over 12. I think that's what my 'responder' was considering.
ReplyDeleteThere is an age where what you said, Nicole, is precisely appropriate. Then, there slowly comes an age where children can respectfully question, to an age where they respectfully debate, to an age where they respectfully move out and make their own decisions. Hopefully, they know how to reason for themselves; but even better, hopefully they know God and desire to go to His word (and even ask advice of trusted elders) for answers. And all of the "they"s can be replaced with "we" or "I"!